I'll be there for You
by Mr. Evil Eyes
Summary: Written for the kougaijiXyaone community on LJ and for every Kou and Yaone fan. Kougaiji and Yaone know that they love each other but the future is what stops them from uniting...
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Saiyuki or any of its characters. They belong to Kazuya Minekura alone and I have no right over them. But, this fan fiction is written only to ease my troubled soul and that of many others who wish to see Kougaiji and Yaone together…

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_Kougaiji-sama must never find out how I feel for him…_

Yaone rummaged for a box hidden deep inside her cupboard. She carefully took off the lid and saw her diary and her file kept in there. Her diary housed all her feelings for Kougaiji and her file consisted of all the stuff she'd written on him. She removed her diary first and threw it into the fire. As she plunged for her file, a neat white handkerchief with beautiful embroidery fell out. The sight of the handkerchief brought back some memories…

_Flashback_

"Brother," cried Lirin, "Yaone's hurt!"

"It's nothing, Kougaiji-sama," smiled Yaone, "It's just a cut on my finger, that's all"

"Take this and wipe your wound," said Kougaiji kindly, giving her his handkerchief.

"You don't need to give me your hankie, really," implored Yaone, "it is just a little cut…"

"Are you telling me what I'm supposed to do and what I'm not?" said Kougaiji in a dangerous voice.

"Oh, no," said Yaone looking scared, "Not at all, I'm just…"

"Then, take it," smiled Kougaiji and wiped away the blood staining her finger with it as Yaone blushed furiously.

A few hours later:

"May I come in, Kougaiji-sama?" knocked Yaone.

"Sure"

"I just came to return your handkerchief to you," said Yaone bowing low, "I've washed and dried it. Now, it's as good as new"

"It's all right, you can keep it if you want to," said Kougaiji observing Yaone carefully, "You didn't have to go through all that trouble to return it. You can keep it."

"But I…"

"Yaone, why do you always turn me down?"

"'Turn you down?'" repeated Yaone looking horrified, "I would never dream of…"

"Just look at you," said Kougaiji laughing at Yaone's expression, "I was just joking! But it's my wish that you keep my handkerchief with you," he said smiling serenely, "Unless you don't want to keep it"

"Your wish is my command," said Yaone bowing once again, "May I take your leave, then?"

"Oh, yes, you may. But, I just wanted to ask you, you do like my hankie, don't you?"

"It's extremely beautiful," said Yaone truthfully, "it's my honor to keep it"

"Ok…"

_End of flashback_

Yaone wiped away the tears that came to her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to burn that hankie. That was the only thing that kept her close to Kougaiji. He had wiped her bleeding hand with it. He hadn't considered her his subordinate then. Could there still be a chance that he loved her?

_No, I must not think of Kougaiji-sama like this…I'm a lowly subordinate of his…_

Lost deeply in thought as she watched her diary and file being eaten up by the flames, Yaone didn't notice the door of her room open. She was still clutching on tightly to Kougaiji's handkerchief and crying when she felt someone else's presence in her room. In an instant she turned around to see Kougaiji watching her curiously-

"Do you need something, Kougaiji-sama?" said Yaone hastily wiping her tears and slipping the hankie out of sight.

"No," said Kougaiji awkwardly, "I just, er, came to say that, we're leaving right now"

"Now? At this time of the night?"

"Yes, I'm leaving with Dokugaiji. However, I want you to stay here and keep an eye on Lirin. I do not want her following us"

"As you say," bowed Yaone, "But are you sure you won't need my help?"

"No, we'll be fine," said Kougaiji shaking his head and walking towards the door.

"I shall pray for your safety, Kougaiji-sama," said Yaone softly.

Kougaiji had almost left the room when he turned around and said-

"Thank you, Yaone…Take care of yourself and Lirin…"

"I will," replied Yaone looking a little scared at the look on Kougaiji's face. He looked as serene as ever but she had a very bad feeling that something was going to go wrong…

* * *

3 nights later-

"Yaone, you're so silly!" squealed Lirin, "How many times do I have to tell you to confess to him?"

"I can't, Lirin. I'm not worthy of a man like Kougaiji-sama," muttered Yaone looking down.

"Oh, don't start that nonsensical 'I'm a mere subordinate' crap"

"But I am, Lirin. We can never be together…"

"Look, if you're not planning to tell Onii-chan about your feelings, then maybe I will"

"No!" screamed Yaone, "Please, I beg you, do not tell Kougaiji-sama about how I feel for him. It will only distance me further from him"

"Fine," smiled Lirin, "I won't tell him. But how long can you go on like this?"

"I'm trying to kill my feelings for him"

"And as if that's going to happen," snorted Lirin, "Not if you keep a file full of stuff about Onii-chan"

"I have destroyed the file," said Yaone coldly.

"And the handkerchief? I bet you've still kept it"

"Yes, I have"

"See," said Lirin, "You can't get over Onii-chan. It's impossible if he's going to keep moving around you!"

"I suppose you are right…but that still doesn't make me feel like confessing my feelings to him"

"Don't confess if you don't want to," said Lirin looking annoyed, "But I'm sure he loves you too"

"No way," whispered Yaone, "That's not true"

"I'm sure he does. Haven't you noticed how intensely he looks at you? Haven't you noticed the hunger in his eyes?"

"You are just imagining it," blushed Yaone, "He doesn't think of me in any strange way"

"I don't know," said Lirin mischievously, "But when he decides to get married one day, I'm going to suggest you to him"

"No you won't!"

"Oh, yes, I will," giggled Lirin, "I'd rather have you as my sister-in-law than some stupid, idiotic princess of a faraway land"

"I suppose so," said Yaone laughing.

Just then the door flung open and Dokugaiji came running in-

"Hurry up, Yaone. I need your help. Kou's in a very bad state!"

Fear flooded Yaone's laughing face. Dokugaiji was entirely covered in blood. What had happened to Kougaiji? She got up quickly and ran outside with Lirin and Dokugaiji in her wake.

A bloody mass lay in one corner of the entrance hall of Hotou castle. Yaone rushed over to Kougaiji. His flaming red hair fell over his face and his strong, manly arms were covered in cuts and bruises. He had a very peaceful expression on his face and could've been sleeping. Slowly, Yaone placed a hand to his chest. His heart was still beating rhythmically. Heaving a sigh of relief, Yaone checked him. He was very badly injured. If he managed to survive the night…no, she mustn't think this way. She had to be strong and hopeful. She couldn't break down like this. Yaone got up and gently carried Kougaiji (with Dokugaiji's help) to his room.

"Is Onii-chan going to be alright, Yaone?" asked Lirin tearfully following them.

"Don't worry, Lirin," said Yaone kindly, "Your Onii-chan's made of stronger stuff than all of us can imagine"

"What's exactly wrong with him? Why's he unconscious?'

"I haven't checked him properly yet but I think he's broken a rib"

"So, he will be all right, won't he?"

"Yes. I'm sure he will"

"That's nice then," said Lirin weakly and sat down on the couch in the sitting room

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**Author's Notes**: I expect everyone who reads my story to review. Please, try and understand the amount of hard work every writer puts into their story. After all that hard work, a few words of praise and criticism is all we wait for. So, I would appreciate it if you would review…thank you very much in advance. Hope you liked the story so far and I'll update chapter 2 as soon as I think chapter 1 has had enough reviews!


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Saiyuki or any of its characters. It belongs to Kazuya Minekura, not me. I'm a poor fan fiction writer who writes merely to satisfy myself and a few more people who might be interested. So, in case you have a problem, please don't sue me! I have no money and am not making any either…

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**Author's Notes**: A very special thanks to **patriot16**, **Zutarian5**, **JacinthX** and **pact des loup** for their fabulous reviews! Big hugs to them all! I'd also like to thank everyone who read my story, added it to their favorite list or even their story alert list! I said I'd update this chapter only when I get enough reviews but I can clearly see how pathetic Kougaiji and Yaone's fan following is! So, we as hardcore fans need to buck up and increase the amount of Kougaji and Yaone fan fiction there is on this site and on every other site too!

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She sat next to him and cried silently. Kougaiji was still unconscious. She prayed hard with all her might and waited for him to open his eyes. But he lay still. He was running a high fever and his body was boiling hot. Yaone clasped his hand into hers and rested her head on the edge of his bed while tears streamed down her face. She had lost track of time and didn't know after how many hours she heard a low moan-

"Yaone, is that you?"

Yaone gasped and looked up.

"Kougaiji-sama!" she whispered, "Thank god!! You're awake!"

"How long has it been since I'm here?"

"A long while now. I've actually lost track of time…"

"I see," muttered Kougaiji and winced with pain as his hand brushed against his rib.

"Don't try and talk, Kougaiji-sama. You must rest now," said Yaone as she hastily tried to wipe her tear-strained face.

"Why were you crying, Yaone?" asked Kougaiji slowly.

"It's-nothing," murmured Yaone, "You shouldn't worry about me. I'm fine."

"No, you're not," he said in a feeble voice, "I don't want to see you cry like this, especially if it's about me."

"You were hurt," said Yaone unable to contain herself, "You were hurt and injured and the Kougaiji-sama I know has never been this defeated looking."

"Everyone has their good and bad days," said Kougaiji, "I'm not trying to gather up excuses for my defeat but what's the point in crying? Will I get better?"

"No, you won't," mumbled Yaone, "But it helps me feel lighter."

"Hmm…" said Kougaiji.

"I think I should go and leave you alone in your chambers now," said Yaone getting up and bowing, "You need to rest. I must also let Dokugaiji and Lirin know that you're awake."

"No, Yaone," he said and grabbed her hand, "I want you to stay right here next to me. Don't leave me alone."

"As you wish," said Yaone and sat down near his bed still holding his warm hand. She looked at him. His injuries covered nearly most of his face and his dark red hair only enhanced his features even more. He was one guy who could look handsome even though he was so badly injured. Yaone had removed his bangles but hadn't dared to touch his earrings. He was always really touchy about them and the last thing she wanted to do was annoy him.

"You know what, Yaone?" said Kougaiji in a weak voice.

"Really, this is why I didn't want to sit near you. If I'm here, you'll be disturbed and won't rest properly."

"But, Yaone…"

"No, Kougaiji-sama," said Yaone firmly, "I beg before you. If you don't rest now, your condition can worsen. I'll stay right here beside you if you want me to but please don't say a word!"

"As you say, Yaone," said Kougaiji meekly and smiled, "But don't you leave me and go away the moment I'm asleep 'coz this is the one night I don't want to be alone!"

"I won't, I promise," said Yaone gently, "Oyasumi Nasai!"

"Oyasumi!"

Yaone looked lovingly on as Kougaiji slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep. She held on to his hand as though afraid to let go, laid back in her chair and drifted off to sleep.

A fortnight later:

"Do you want another sponge bath, Kougaiji-sama?"

"No, Yaone," smiled Kougaiji, "However, I'd be glad if you could make me some of that soup which you made two days ago."

"Sure, Yaone's special soup coming up for you!" said Yaone and marched out of the room leaving a grinning Kougaiji in her wake.

Yaone came up after a quarter of an hour.

"Here's your soup, Kougaiji-sama," she smiled and put down the warm bowl of soup on Kougaiji's bedside table.

"Thanks a lot, Yaone," said Kougaiji, "Could you close the door? I need to talk to you about something important."

"Sure," said Yaone looking surprised but nevertheless, she walked towards the door and locked it from inside. Kougaiji motioned her to sit down on the chair next to his bed as he drank spoonfuls of his soup.

"As brilliant as usual, of course," said Kougaiji, "The soup, I mean," he added as Yaone looked confused, "Let's get on with what I had to say to you. Firstly, I want to ask you, do you think of me to be a person like my father, Gyumaoh?"

"Of course, not," replied Yaone looking bewildered, "What makes you think that way?"

"Somehow, I sometimes feel that I'm kind of intimidating when I'm with you."

"You feel wrongly," said Yaone straightforwardly, "I don't know why you think that way but I want you to know that you're not intimidating at all. On the contrary, you're a very soft and sweet person unlike the rough and tough one you try to be. And I'm being extremely truthful. Next question…"

"Thanks, Yaone," beamed Kougaiji, "You don't know how much you saying that means to me. Okay, here comes question two for you. But before that, I want you to remember that when I say this, I'm not trying to infest you with any kind of false hope. For all that we know, we may never be able to do this but I just want to let you know before it's too late."

Yaone waited with bated breath for what Kougaiji had to say.

"I love you, Yaone," said Kougaiji, "I love you very much but I do not want this news to reach anyone apart from the two of us. I'm not saying this so that I can start a relationship with you or book you for life or something crazy like that. It's absolutely not necessary for you to reciprocate my feelings."

"What?" that was all that Yaone could manage after Kougaiji's breathtaking confession, "You love me?"

"Yes," replied Kougaiji testily, "Don't say that so many times, someone will be sure to hear you."

"Ok, I'm sorry," said Yaone, "But why did you decide to tell me this, Kougaiji-sama? We both know that under the current circumstances, it would be impossible to be in a relationship with you."

"I'm glad that you get the point. I just thought of confessing my feelings to you because I'm not sure of the future that lies ahead of me. And so, someday if I were to die unexpectedly," Yaone gave a violent shudder at those words, "I would truly regret not having told you my feelings."

"But why would you regret it?" asked Yaone.

"You know very well how I feel about you," said Kougaiji, "I would want you to know my feelings before I died. But as I said earlier, I wouldn't be doing this because I'd want you to stay alone for the rest of your life and cry for me. No, that's not what I mean at all"

"So, even if I loved someone else, you would still love me the way you do?"

"Yes, I would. But I'm not forcing you…"

"For heaven's sake!" exclaimed Yaone, "Stop saying that, will you? You don't have to force me or anything. I love you too, Kougaiji-sama," she blushed as she said this, "But I also know that a future with you is as uncertain as tomorrow's weather may be. So, if someday, all of this is over, I'll still be there for waiting for you, I promise."

"Thank you, Yaone," he said putting aside his bowl of soup, "But you have to be careful that no one else finds out. Or else, Gyoukumen Koushou will be sure to target you. She knows how to toy with my feelings really well."

"I assure you, nothing of that sort will happen, Kougaiji-sama," said Yaone, "I will make sure of that."

"You can call me Kougaiji now," he smiled.

"Only when we're alone!" reminded Yaone and Kougaiji nodded and asked, "Did you lock the door when you came in?"

"Yeah, I did," said Yaone after thinking for a few seconds, "But that won't make it soundproof…"

"I know it won't," said Kougaiji, "There's something on your face, Yaone," he said his eyes glinting.

"What is it?" asked Yaone rubbing her face hard, "Has it gone?"

"No," smiled Kougaiji mischievously, "I'll do it for you," saying this he slowly came close enough to feel Yaone's warm breath on his face. He saw her face reddening until it had turned scarlet. He slowly touched her cheek and pushed back a stray strand of her hair with his long finger. She stopped breathing as he touched her. He then, touched her lower eyelid where an eyelash was sticking out at an odd angle. Pulling that eyelash out, he threw it away. He then moved an inch closer to her face and she bit her lip. She felt like her heart would come out of her body. It was beating harder each time Kougaiji came closer. She slowly closed her eyes and in half a second, she felt Kougaiji's lips brush against hers gently. For a moment, he pulled himself back but within another moment, he was kissing her fiercely. Her tongue probed the bitter-sweet taste of his mouth. 'Perfect', she thought as she put her arms around his neck. Her lip was now swollen but she didn't care. She could go on like this forever. As he kissed her, he found that she tasted too sweet. 'Typical', he thought as he continued kissing her. After about two minutes when they broke apart, they were gasping for breath. When they'd recovered, he pulled her into another long kiss.

"Oh, Kougaiji," moaned Yaone when he kissed a part of her neck.

He felt great to hear her whisper his name like that. They kissed each other for some more time and when they finally broke apart-

"What we did wasn't wrong, was it, Yaone?" he asked her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"No, it wasn't. But we can't let ourselves get carried away by our feelings the next time…"

"Right you are," muttered Kougaiji as he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, "We have to be careful…"

"But remember, what has to happen, will happen. We'll just have to face it when it does…"

He pondered over her words for sometime and said-

"And I'll be there for you, no matter what."

"Same here," said Yaone as she snuggled her head deeper into his chest.

They didn't know how long they'd been lying there or what their future had in store for them. But all they knew was that this was a moment meant to be so and they had no regrets about it.

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**Author's Notes**: If you felt that Kougaiji and Yaone were OOC, don't bombard me please! I tried my level best to make them as normal as possible but I wanted to show Kougaiji in a different light. I'm sure that given a chance, the normal boy in him would emerge too but I feel a lot of people, who're crazed out about Kou's angsty, rough side may not have enjoyed my story. Also, in case you found the intimate scene really substandard, please forgive me! This is only my second time writing such stuff and I find writing such stuff very difficult!! Nevertheless, I told you before, I write to satisfy my hungry soul and right now my hungry soul wants reviews for food. So please, press the 'Go' button at the bottom left of this page and submit your reviews. I welcome praise and criticism equally. But if you're an anonymous reviewer, be sure to leave you e-mail address. I would like to reply back to you. Thanks for reading my story and I seriously hope you enjoyed it. Take care!!


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